Viv Groskop’s Top Ten
Although I have been reviewing books and judging literary prizes for 25 years, I often find myself constantly recommending the same old books time after time.
I have recommended Nora Ephron’s Heartburn so often that there can’t be anyone left who hasn’t read it. But your favourites stay your favourites, right? With that in mind, the list below is a very specific one: these are all non-fiction books about gender, career, work and feminism.
Here are some books I have found useful recently and over the years in understanding my thinking around the topic of women and ambition — and also in changing myself. (This is from the reading list in Lift As You Climb and there are more suggestions at the back of How to Own the Room.)
Click here to read Viv’s own books, How to Own the Room and Lift as you Climb.
Invisible Women: Exploring Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Cried Perez — If you want chapter and verse on the context for discrimination against women plus loads of statistics and scientific evidence that will get you riled up… this is the book to do it.
Becoming by Michelle Obama — An obvious example for inspiration and motivation but a useful one because this book is beautifully written, never talks down to the reader and illustrates what ambition looks when it’s balanced: where personal life matters just as much as work.
The Problem with Everything: My Journey Through the Culture Wars by Meghan Daum — Tired of meaningless labels like “snowflake” and “woke”, Daum explores why we are so conflicted on the subject of feminism, gender and identity politics and asks how we can rediscover the centre ground.
The Feminine Mistake: Are We Giving Up Too Much? By Leslie Bennetts — This is a fantastic read on money, economics and power. Bennetts looks at the “double bind” that many women face: they feel that they need to be a primary parent and a breadwinner. This is almost an impossibility and forces many women to either give up earning (and raise their family instead) or to give up on the idea that they can have a family whilst still working.
Unfinished Business: Women, Men, Work, Family by Anne-Marie Slaughter. Foreign policy analyst and academic, Slaughter served as Director of Policy Planning for the US State Department under Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. This book arose from an article she wrote (“Why Women Still Can’t Have It All”) about trying to do that job whilst raising two teenage boys.
Your Best Year Yet! The Ten Questions That Will Change Your Life For Ever by Jenny Ditzler — This is very self-helpy but if you are at a point where you are completely lost and need some guidance on what to do next, this book asks the right questions. One of the hardest parts of ambition is knowing what you want and what your priorities are and this book has some great exercises for pinning that down.
Who Moved My Cheese? By Dr Spencer Johnson. This is an old-school self-help classic: a parable of some mice who live in a maze and wake up one day to find that all the delicious cheese they loved to eat has suddenly disappeared. Where can they find new cheese? For “cheese” read “inspiration” or “ambition.” A very useful, quick shot-in-the-arm and also a reminder not to take the subject of life strategy too seriously. (Sorry it’s by a man but at least it has mice in it.)
Work Like a Woman: A Manifesto for Change by Mary Portas — This is a practical and inspiring read on how to get ahead in the workplace without compromising your personal values. Portas writes from experience and her views feel like part of a new movement to bring kindness, compassion, altruism and long-term thinking into the world of work. We don’t quite know what this new world is going to look like yet but this is a great place to start.
Dare to Lead: Brave Work, Tough Conversations, Whole Hearts by Brene Brown — This builds on the ideas in her other books Daring Greatly and Rising Strong and brings Brene Brown’s work on vulnerability and shame into the world of leadership and work. What I like most about her message is that it’s about experimentation: we have to learn to take risks in order to do things differently.
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb — Fantastic memoir about a therapist who finds herself at a point of crisis after a break-up and has to work out how therapy can help her, when she thought she knew it all. Along the way she reveals why it’s so important to understand our own internal workings and anxieties and how much we all have in common in terms of the stresses that obsess us. Also funny.
BONUS LISTING: Two books I mention constantly as they have made a huge difference to my life: Playing Big: A Practical Guide for Brilliant Women Like You by Tara Mohr and Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives by Gretchen Rubin. Both these authors also have an array of resources online available for free.
Tara Mohr’s work is about uncovering the internal barriers that are holding you back. How is your “inner critic” talking to you and how can you turn down that voice? In what ways are you “hiding” in your work and in your life? What would represent a “leap” for you that would suddenly drive everything forward?
Gretchen Rubin has devoted her life to understanding what makes us more productive. Why do some people find it harder than others to maintain good habits? How do you become more self-disciplined? How can you make change easier by working with your own inclinations rather than against them?